Today’s giving: Wrote a thank-you letter to our mortgage broker for helping us through a long refinance.

It’s tempting to run when we’re scared.

Think of the mouse skittering along the wall. He hears a rustle, sees a cat and runs for safety. The next night he ventures out, hears a rustle and runs for cover. The next night he does the same. But the cat has moved on. Only the leaves are rustling in the wind. The idea of the cat has come to dominate the mouse’s life, not the cat itself. Eventually, the mouse has ceded control of his life to a cat that isn’t there.

Whether we’re feeling scared, hurt, sad or depressed; we want to isolate ourselves. It feels safe. But consider the consequences. If withdrawing feels good, we’re more likely to do it again, then again. The original problem may even go away. Eventually, we have ceded control of our lives to a problem that isn’t there.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. If we try to continue to think about what we can give to other people, we defocus from ourselves and focus on someone else. Our insecure feelings are put on hold. We might realize the cat is gone.

Giving puts our problems in perspective. And it helps us regain control.