“I’d be interested to hear, Eric, how this process has brought more abundance into your life…other than the important feeling of satisfaction for being a giver.” — Leissa
That’s a good question Leissa, and not easy to answer. Certainly, I am satisfied with my effort so far. That is important because self-satisfaction is a good feeling. And giving is, for good or bad, mostly emotional.
But more than that, I now see a richness and depth in my life which before was not visible. I have an awareness of things of which before I wasn’t aware. I sense connections between things which before weren’t connected.
I also better understand what prevents people from giving. I see and hear ways in which they distance themselves from other people through their language and behavior. I see the labeling of others. I hear the criticism of others. I hear the criticism of themselves at the same time. I hear how much we talk about ourselves. I didn’t hear this before, but I hear it now.
When I drive down the road I see people, not cars. When I see homeless people I ask who they are, not why. When I see trash on the street I see it as my responsibility, not another’s. When I talk to my friends I try to listen more, not less.
This new awareness has also given me glimpses of what initiative is like. Glimpses of how I have to extend myself and fail. Glimpses of how I have to extend myself again and again, if I am to give meaningfully. Glimpses of how I need to try harder even when I can say I’ve done enough.
Just as a vessel can be filled, so can a person be filled with abundance. The abundance I now have is an abundance of richness, depth and awareness in my life that eluded me before. I also have an abundance of initiative to give more and to fail more. I have an abundance of desire to see what else I discover during this challenge and find new ways I can change myself to give more. I am slowly filling.
But this abundance is not just for me. This abundance is for me to give.