“You only lose what you cling to.”

— Buddha

Our values are reflected in what we give.

Buddhist Dhamma wheel

Some of us give things. Some give money. Some give talent and time. The causes to which we contribute speak to the heart our values.

But what we don’t give may be, in fact, a more accurate reflection.

There are things in our life to which we cling. Possibly, without knowing it.

Maybe it’s a family heirloom, our bank account balance, being right, fear of failure, self-doubt, or even a story we tell ourselves. These may be important pieces of our identity or self worth. Yet, the effort to carry it forward may be weighing us down.

Whatever it is, in our desire not to lose it, we may strive ever harder to keep it. A fear of failure may drive us to the pinnacle of success, but the fear doesn’t go away. We may worry about the fragility of a family heirloom as a link to the past, even though the strongest link is in our mind. We may cling to a self-image of strength and vitality even in the face of age, disease, and time.

When our desires to maintain something becomes more costly than the value of the thing itself then, like Buddha said, we’ve lost it.

And if when we’ve lost it, we can’t give it. Or, give it up.

Today’s gift of time … Appreciating the In-Betweeners Day 3 – Sent a thank you card to our neighbors for giving us some furniture that they no longer wanted. Over the years, we’ve become good friends and exchanged many things, but we have never once in my memory sent a thank you card to them. It was time to correct that oversight.